Oh dear (a new term of Bubba’s – along with No which began a couple of days ago and has made for some interesting ‘discussions’!), I was in tears twice last night - for completely different reasons.
Bubba had an uh oh at day care yesterday. She was playing a little too enthusiastically and went for a topple, hitting her beautiful little head on the toy house she was playing with (which is about as tall as she is).
I didn’t cry when I first saw it, but I did cry when I was dressing her in her pyjamas and noticed the bruising all around it. I know she’s fine, but sometimes being a working mumma makes me feel so guilty for not being there for her. This is the first time she’s had a real ouchie and a bleeder, and I was at work - not there to cuddle her and kiss it better.
My second lot of tears in a very short period came not long after I took these photos. Bubba’s pre-bed night time routine involves having her bottle while laying on my bed. Bella and Beary are always there with us. I sing songs, stroke Bubba’s head, pat the puppies and generally soak up the love of my three incredibly scrumptious kids.
Once she’s done with her bottle, Bubba says nigh nighs to Bella and Beary. She gives Bella a cuddle and Beary a kiss - because he’s only about affection when it’s on his terms - then I scoop Bubba up in my arms and she blows both dogs a kiss on the way to her room.
But last night, as soon as she was done with the bottle, she handed it to me, then rolled over and flung her arm around Beary to give him a cuddle. And he didn’t move. Not only did he not move, but he nuzzled in to her.
Shut. The. Door.
It was so cute I think my heart stopped. Then I cried. Tears of happiness and love.
When she was done with Beary, Bella got a cuddle too. She still blew them goodnight kisses as I carried her up the hallway to her room. And I got my mumma loves.
Then she slept all night. Bliss, my friends. Bliss.
Tonight Bubba is having her second night away from me. My plans for a night out with the girls the first time Bubba had a sleep over were foiled by shingles. Tonight’s plans for dinner and a couple of glasses of wine are not going to be foiled by anything!
Having done it once before didn’t make it any easier to walk away from my precious Love Bug knowing I wouldn’t hold her for 24 hours. So I may have cried again this morning.
Just a little.