Next time you pee, I want you to think about the luxury of having eight seconds to yourself.

Think about the fact that you are alone.

Think about the fact that in the very small space that is the bathroom, you only have yourself and your thoughts for company.

Think about the fact that there aren’t two big dogs, heads tilted as if to ask why you’re sitting down, tails wagging and ready to play.

Think about the fact that there’s not a toddler playing the drums on your knees.

You never considered what a luxury that eight seconds of alone time was before, did you?

Lucky I don’t suffer stage fright!