For a number of reasons, yesterday was a fairly horrid day.
I was so sick that I had to try very hard not to (a) vomit; and (b) pass out for the better part of the day and night. This morning is no better. Thankfully though, I know this will pass and I will feel okay again soon.
Being a single parent has challenges at the best of times. When you’re sick these challenges are magnified and every little thing threatens to tip you over the edge. It wasn’t really the evening for a complete toddler meltdown. So guessed what happened?
I picked Bubba up from day care and we made it home with me upright. I managed to not throw up or pass out. I got through dinner time for her and the fuzzy loves. Hey, we even made it through bath time unscathed. Pyjamas on? Tick. Bedtime stories selected. Yep.
Then Bubba walked toward her room, stood at the door pointing in the general direction of her room and started to whinge. Within about 20 seconds this had escalated to full scale screaming and arms thrashing about and sobbing, interspersed with no mumma and pushing me away when I tried to get near her. I tried for a few minutes to reason with her, ask her what she wanted, point to everything in her room. And then I gave up, threw her books on my bed and flung myself down too, all the while yelling that if she didn’t stop screaming I couldn’t understand her or what she wanted. Ironic huh?
Suffice it to say it wasn’t either of our best moments. By the time I finally got her to calm down enough to have her bottle (no easy feat when a small person is willing you away with all of their strength and might) and read stories and put her to bed, there had been more tears and angst. From both of us.
She went to bed and I felt horrid. More horrid than I had all day. Sick to my stomach and emotionally wrought that I’d seen what looked like fear on her little face when I yelled. All made feel so much worse because I’m sick and exhausted and stressed.
After she’d been in bed for an hour or so, I went and got her up just so I could hold her in my arms for five minutes, kiss her and cuddle her and tell her how much I love her.
Thankfully, when it finally came time for me to go to bed, this warm fuzzy little body was just waiting for a cuddle. Normally after cuddles, she moves to the end of the bed or the floor, but last night she stayed for a while. One of the many times I woke up, she’d managed to get her paw under my pillow and had it tucked into my hand.
Just to let me know she was there and this feeling too would pass.
Times like that are so hard. It’s no fun being a sick mom, especially if you do it all alone. Hang in there, hope you’re better soon.
I feel bad complaining about it, but I did promise a warts and all account of motherhood!
Oh dear, don’t ever feel bad complaining about it. That’s reality.
That is definitely a rough day and night! I hope you’re feeling better. xo
Thanks xx
It is not uncommon for Israel & I to comment about how grateful we are that we are in this parenthood gig together, especially at times when there is sickness or when the kids are at a developmental change, and the wonderful order of the household is in turmoil. And of course, you are always at the top of our list of giving credit to doing the hardest & most rewarding job in the world on your own. R.E.S.P.E.C.T!
I too had one of those moments last night, except my shouting was through gritted teeth because we had clients at the front of the house. When I heard myself as I was doing this, I was thing god this sounds awful, and I was right – this gritted teeth shouting or should I say snarling was rewarded with the biggest wailing. How can a little person be so loud, and how can a grown woman become so small from her behaviour?
Today I got up at 5.30am to meditate, do my affirmations & 30 mins Yoga before the kids awoke at 6.30pm. I am hoping this gives me the strength & piece of mind to hand this current developmental change at bedtime with significantly more patience than I did last night.
Thinking of you. If there is anything we can do for comfort, please let us know. xoxo
Hi, What a tough day. Thank goodness the tough times pass. I think you’re amazing to even have the strength/energy to blog about it. You seem like an amazing mum to Bubba, don’t worry about the bad days, we all have them. I really hope you are feeling better soon, because it’s really hard being a sick mum. Particularly when you’re doing it on your own. Aren’t dogs wonderful? Friends in good times and bad.
Thanks for stopping by – and for the support. Dogs truly are phenomenal friends!
This too shall pass my friend….. xxx
xx