Progress report

I know she’s fully aware that she is my sunshine, that she is the best Little Sister {and aunty} in the whole wide world and that I love her to the moon and back forever.

But today I just have to share with everyone how insanely proud I am of her.

Her latest Facebook update from Camino:

Progress report

Our feet have carried us 646.9 kilometres. 143.1 to go. Can’t believe how lucky we are.

Buen Camino to you my gorgeous Little Sister, and to Tash and all of your new-found fellow pilgrims.

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Jessie gets her wings

Long time readers will know the story of my friend Jodie and her fur sisters Cilla and Jessie and our plea to re-home these beauties together when their mumma sadly passed away in 2012. Cilla joined her mumma only 7 weeks later.

One last cuddle with Aunty MJ

Yesterday I sat with my friend and the beautiful Jessie, holding them both as Jessie passed over the bridge. Almost 17, Jessie had developed a tumour on her face and life was getting a little tricky for this gorgeous old girl.

Jessie gets her wings

In the arms of an angel

I’ve never been present when an animal has been euthanised. It was somehow calmer than I thought it would be. It was raw. It was devastatingly heartbreaking. And it was beautiful. The last move Jessie made was to snuggle into Jodie’s lap before she crossed over, as if to thank Jodie for being the best non-fur sister a girl could ever hope for.

Run free sweet Jessie-dawg. Have fun with your mumma and Cilla. You’ve earned your wings and heaven just got another gorgeous furry guardian angel.

Jodie, you are strong beyond belief. Lots of love to you my friend. xox

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Tasty Tuesday {chia pudding}

I am a relative newcomer to chia seed puddings. I’m not sure why, because I’ve been adding them to other things for ages. Anyhoo, recently I’ve read a number of articles on the health benefits of these tiny little power balls {full of omega-3, fibre, protein, manganese and phosphorous, help you keep fuller for longer, and the list goes on}, so I thought I’d give the pudding idea another go.

Then I remembered why I wasn’t overly excited … snot. The texture that is. Eeeeeiiiiwwww.

Having stepped passed that juvenile thought {well, stepped around it maybe} I set out to extend my repertoire to all manner of flavoured puddings. Maybe Love Bug will even eat them? If she can get over the snot thing that is.

Tasty Tuesday {chia pudding}

All of the amounts below are for a single serve. For larger quantities, simply multiply depending on how hungry you are, how large your Mason jar is or how many mouths you’re feeding!

Basic Chia Pudding
½ cup of your choice of organic non-dairy milk {almond, coconut, quinoa, etc}
2 tablespoons of chia seeds {this is a big hit of fibre though so if you’re going from a diet with not a huge amount of fibre, you might want to start at 1 tablespoon and work your way up}
½ teaspoon of either organic vanilla essence or raw honey

My go to quick breakfast pudding of the moment is the above with coconut milk, ½ teaspoon organic vanilla essence, cinnamon and shredded coconut. Generally topped with a handful/grating/dallop/slices of whatever fruit is handy. Delizioso!

I decided to get a little creative … the results were pretty good if I do say so myself.

Banana choc pudding
Basic mixture {using almond milk and honey}
1 tablespoon raw cacao powder
2 extra teaspoons of raw honey
1 large banana
Extra ¼ to ½ cup almond milk if needed for consistency

Blend everything except chia seeds until well combined. Add extra almond milk if it’s a bit too thick. Pour into jar with chia seeds and shake really well to ensure seeds distributed through the mixture. Pop it in the fridge for a couple of hours {or overnight is even better}.

Strawberries and cream pudding
Basic mixture {using coconut milk and honey}
½ cup strawberries
1 extra teaspoon of raw honey

Blend everything except chia seeds until well combined. Mix chia seeds in and pour into jar. Refrigerate for a couple of hours/overnight.

Summer mango pudding
Basic mixture {using coconut milk and vanilla}
½ cup mango {plus extra for topping}
1 tablespoon of shredded coconut

Blend everything except chia seeds until well combined. Mix chia seeds in and pour into jar. Refrigerate for a couple of hours/overnight. Top with extra mango crushed and drizzled with honey {optional}.

Berry pudding
Basic mixture {using almond milk and vanilla}
½ banana
½ cup berries of your choice {we had blueberries on hand} and extra for topping

Blend everything except chia seeds until well combined. Mix chia seeds in and pour into jar. Refrigerate for a couple of hours/overnight.

Apple pie pudding
Basic mixture {using almond milk and vanilla}
½ teaspoon of cinnamon and ½ teaspoon of grated nutmeg
½ cup stewed apple {I usually have a jar of stewed apples/pears in the fridge – they come in very handy as natural sweeteners}

Blend everything except chia seeds until well combined. Mix chia seeds in and pour into jar. Refrigerate for a couple of hours {I prefer overnight}.

Love Bug’s favourites? Apple Pie and Strawberries and Cream. Although she did ask about the funny chewy bits. I told her they were snot. She tilted her head just like Beary does, then laughed and said Snot?

You’re a silly mumma!

 

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Broken

At some point this weekend, I felt like I was on one of those awful tabloid, sensationalist television programs. You know the ones that show the parent of the child who is utterly out of control? The child who you have to assume is being fed sugar and crap food by the bucket, watches too much bad television? The one who seems to have massive anger issues?

Except that I know my child isn’t being fed sugar and crap food by the bucket, doesn’t watch too much bad television and, as far as I’m aware, has not had anger issues to date.

It is Sunday night and I am broken. I am going to bed and it is 8:30pm. My preschooler has broken me. In every waking moment I love her with every fibre of my being. This weekend was no exception. But this weekend I didn’t like her behaviour for quite a significant number of hours.

She was that child from the awful television program. A number of times. I don’t know what prompted the first one. She is always tired on Saturdays but deals with our general Saturday routine, has a big sleep in the afternoon then we enjoy our movie night together and she sleeps in my bed. Not so this weekend. This weekend we’d barely parked at the market when she had a meltdown.

I won’t necessarily rehash each of the incidences, because it’s not her behaviour that I really want to discuss. It’s my reaction to it. For the most part, I think I have reacted really well. I got down to her level, I sat with her. I offered to hold her. I held her tight. I sang to her and held her like I did when she was a little bubba.

{On the ground in the middle of the markets and then in the gutter near the car.}

I asked her what was wrong. I gave her choices so she felt she had some control. I let her thrash it out at one point because she really didn’t want me to touch her. I sat close by and told her I was there.

And at one point, I lost it. Yep, totally lost it. And not at home in the privacy of my own home either, but just outside the gates of the market with people streaming by enjoying their sunny Spring morning. One guy walked passed holding the hand of a small child, a couple of years older than Love Bug. He walked passed a few minutes later and mouthed at me are you okay? which I thought was lovely, if a little brave – after all, I was at this point yelling at my small child {who was laying on the footpath whipping around so furiously that she had scratched both her ankle and knee and was bleeding from both} that I couldn’t help her if she couldn’t help me understand what was wrong.

It was a low point. Obviously.

I have read a lot about kids and emotions and trying to help them through. I have spoken to people. Other parents. Professional people.

It is the inability to control the situation in any way, shape or form that really stresses me out. My inability to calm her immediately. My inability to stop it from happening a second, third or fourth time in one weekend.

My fear and feeling of utter failure as a parent.

My guilt at feeling like I’d like a break from motherhood. Knowing that she wouldn’t behave like that for anyone else and that kids act out with their parents because that’s where they feel safest to act out.

My guilt that the dogs are scared when it’s madness. Their body language breaks my heart too. They want to love and protect both of us but they don’t know what to do.

I feel utterly broken. If I don’t write for a while, maybe it will be because they have taken me to the farm.

why are you at the farm

you are a strange-looking cow. why are you at the farm?

Then I feel really guilty thinking I’d probably like it at the farm – someone else would cook and clean, I could rest, read books under a tree and not have to stress about every single little thing. They probably don’t let you drink Pinot at the farm though.

Broken.

Mumma is broken.

 

 

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Silent Sunday {socialising}

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Meet Howl

Meet Howl.

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Howl is short for Holiday-Owl.

Love Bug and I would like to go to holidays next year so we know we need to save our money instead of spending it on other things we might like.

As she put five dollars in as her first deposit this morning, she gave Howl a kiss and told him that was her money to visit Mickey Mouse in Disneyland!

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Wake Up Project

As I mindfully try to perform a random act of kindness each day, finding out about the Wake Up Project {and their kindness cards} was like finding people who were my people … but I never knew they existed until now.

So. Good.

I ordered my free pack of kindness cards and had one of those why didn’t I think of that moments.

I am excited to add cards to my random acts of kindness, and hope this encourages other people to sprinkle some kindness dust around.

The world could sure use more of it right about now!

wake up project

{To earn more about living mindfully – and be inspired by kindness – check out Wake Up Project‘s site or find them on Facebook and Twitter.}

 

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