How do I walk away again having left my Bubba with someone I don’t know?
I know I am going to do this so many times in our lives. Lately I’ve read some of my favourite bloggers accounts of packing their bubbas off to college. I can’t imagine that it gets any easier as they get older. As a parent, does your heart break a little bit every single time?
This morning we went to meet a new day carer because our regular lady is going to be away for a few weeks. She seemed nice enough and certainly had lots of toys and books and a big outdoor space for the children to play.
But she’s still someone we don’t know. And I need to trust her to care for the most important part of me: my Bubba.
We are so spoilt with our regular carer, and I said that to her when I dropped Bubba off this morning. I know she is cared for greatly and loved – not only by her carer but also by her whole family. She’s also still the baby in the house so she receives that extra special love saved for the youngest. In this new scenario she would be right in the middle – a place I’m not used to her being.
I realise that she will be fine in almost any situation. So far I’ve raised a lovely child who is kind, happy and sweet. During our brief visit she shared toys with two of the other children. She sat happily and played with a toy in one room then when we went into the back yard she picked up some toys that had been left on the ground and gave them to me.
I’m a strong believer (after many years working in recruitment and human resources) of going with your gut instinct, and while there was nothing wrong with the home we saw this morning – it just didn’t feel like the place for my Bubba.
Maybe I need another visit? Or maybe I need to keep looking?
I know Bubba will be okay in most situations.
But will mumma?
bumpyroadtobubba 
If you ask my mum. she tell you the piece of you gets bigger as you get older. Small kids, small dilemmas, big kids, big dilemmas… I shudder at the thought the day our gorgeous girl & handsome dude get their heart broken. I know it’s inevitable, but I would do anything to make it never happen.
As for the carer, go with your gut – a mumma’s gut is usually right. When I was searching for day care for our now 6yo, I went to so many places. Places with a oolala name (because it was trendy), places with exceptional facilities but the only one that felt right, was one which did not have the latest & greatest facilities but to my mind had carers that really care. I knew it was right when I saw the kids running in & being swept up in the arms of carers for a kiss. Now that’s worth more than any toy to me.
I am pleased I followed my gut because 4 years later, our little guy is being cared for by the exact same ladies. And you know, they are still sweeping kids up in their arms & giving kisses. If I can’t be there for him, then I sure as hell want to know he is getting lots of love – I am confident of that with our daycare.
Sorry probably not what you wanted to hear because I know finding care is such a challenge, but I do believe if your gut is telling you it’s not quite right, then it’s not quite right.
Don’t even talk to me about broken hearts Bel! Surely I’ve had more than mine & Bubba’s share already and so she won’t have to go through it? 😉 x
Our first visit to our day carer didnt go so well. I was so judgemental, and I guess I went there with REALLY high expectations, and I was REALLY scouring the room for things I didnt like. I really wasnt too sure and emailed all my girlfriends with my fears, which were mostly cold and sickness type concerns, which I believe now is very normal and common across most day carers.
If I had a choice I would def choose family day care over a childcare centre any day, and I went down the path of the family day care last week, again I went with REALLY high expectations and unfortunately the lady just didnt meet my expectations, I guess I am looking for a similar household to my own, or my Mums (we grew up with my Mum doing family day care in our home).
I guess cause yours is just for the short term, as your normal carer is away for a few, I think u need not to worry, I am sure your bubba will be more than ok. It is never easy to leave your child with anyone, especially someone you dont know, but I am sure you have ended up at this lady from a referral? Which I dont think would happen should she be a bad person?
I had to leave my son at his daycare last week with a room full of carers I did not know, and it really didnt sit well with me, but unfortunately I still had to leave him and rush off to an appointment I had, and when I returned I always stand back and watch for a minute and he was having such a great time, and he is just buzzing with excitement for hours after we have left, which is a good sign.
I think u will know should your bubba have had a good day or not, so maybe judge the place for how she is when u pick her up, but also keep in mind it is not what she is used to, so maybe give it a few days and see how you and her go. Good luck:)
I’m seeing someone else tomorrow – at least then I’ll have a comparison. We are very lucky with our lovely daycare lady. I’m sure (as you said with your son) she will be fine. It’s me who doesn’t cope with change very well!
Ugh! That’s got to be the MOST difficult decision! It gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it. I’ve never had a Bubba, but after almost 3 years, I’ve never even been able to leave Cupcake with a groomer to be bathed. I stick her in the bathtub and do it myself because I’m afraid to let anybody take care of her for an hour!! Good luck.
I feel the same about my puppies too, although Beary has to go to the groomer otherwise we both end up drowned and he doesn’t get properly washed 🙂
I would say to go with your gut instinct.
My sons are 13 and 11 and there are so many heartbreaks along the way and it doesn’t get easier its just different.
My boys are autistic the oldest only has traits. Sheesh I said only!!!
Because of my situation I have only left them with relatives and it could be no othr way for me.
Nxt wk my youngeest starts High School leaving behind his one to one assistant who I had such confidence in to be part of a unit. Its breaking my heart with worry for him
Wow, what an amazing mumma you are! I hope to be as strong as you by the time Bubba is your boys’ age.
Always trust your instincts!
I did and we met another lady this morning who was lovely and interacted with Bubba and Bubba was happy there. Phew!
I just saw your last comment and I’m pleased that you have found someone that you feel is right.