I don’t like spiders.

Actually, that is one enormous understatement.

I am statue-still can’t move, shake and sob uncontrollably or faint on the floor, out cold terrified of spiders.

I issued them all a warning when I moved into my house: don’t come in if you want to leave still breathing. And I meant it.

Seemingly one of them didn’t get the memo, so this morning when I opened the sliding door of Bubba’s wardrobe to get a nappy, I noticed a mark on the cupboard wall.

Except it wasn’t a mark on the wall. It was one very very long spindly leg of a HUGE spider who was hanging out there. On the wall. In Bubba’s cupboard. An inch from her pile of nappies.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Split second thoughts: I’m wearing a maxi dress. What if it jumps on the floor and crawls up my leg? I can’t leave the room because it might hide. What if it crawled on Bubba while she was sleeping? Ugh. I can’t call someone because there’s only me to fix it. If I alert the dogs any further they’ll chase it. *shudder*

What I actually do? Tuck my long dress into my knickers (I know right, such a glamorous vision, but yet another instance when life requires it) in case the sneaky thing does actually jump on my leg. Take off my sandal (and thank heavens that I’ve already put them on as I usually walk around barefoot until the second we leave the house), gently remove the pile of nappies beside said spider and roll the door of the wardrobe back just a little.

Arm back and … splat!

Now before any of you go all ‘oh you should have just carried it outside‘ on me and ‘I can’t believe you killed it‘ know this: I am a lover of all creatures, and steadfastly stand by any who need my help (more on that in a moment) but I have a phobia when it comes to spiders. Arachnophobia. And it’s off the scale. This is how off the scale: to check that I had the spelling correct I didn’t Google it in case a picture of a spider came up. Instead I looked it up on dictionary dot com. Yep, that off the scale.

And until Prince Charming comes along and he can deal with the spiders by taking them outside, any 8-legged terrorists who trespass are gonners!

Cilla and Jessie Update
Firstly: wow wow wow. I am utterly blown away by the insanely incredible support from yesterday’s post. I’ll give you a proper update in a couple of days when there’s more to tell, but for the moment I’ll say this: THANK YOU to each and every person who shared the story on Facebook, Tweeted or re-Tweeted messages, emailed, shared our blog post, commented on their blog and generally just put their paws up to help strangers. Each and every one of those random acts of kindness have made my heart lighter today than it was yesterday. We’re still looking for a fur-ever home for them, but we’re definitely closer.