This morning I heard Bubba chatting happily to herself through the baby monitor while I finished getting ready. I went in to her room to get her up, said good morning and everything seemed okay.
Until I took her blankie off her to lift her out of bed. No mumma no.
I won’t go into the details, but will say this: the next 30 minutes were horrific. She cried, she batted me away, she refused kisses and cuddles, she didn’t want to get dressed, she didn’t want me to touch her. She stared at me like I was the last person on earth she wanted anything to do with. I started off calm but that soon left the building. I ended up slamming the door and bursting into tears.
Excellent mumma behaviour. Top way to control your emotions mumma. And a great start to the day. The day in which I now find myself running late for work.
We finally get out the door and Bubba is still crying/whining and refusing to hold my hand or show me any affection. Then she refused point-blank to get in the car. I lifted her in, kicking and screaming but she wouldn’t sit still in her car seat for me to do up the safety harness. After struggling for a few minutes, I got her out of the car and tried to give her a cuddle and talk to her. I then put her back in the car and she kicked and screamed some more.
You wouldn’t think it so difficult to hold down something that weighs one fifth of what you do would you? Let me tell you, it’s a nightmare. In the end I yelled at her, and she yelled at me {in toddler gibberish so I still have no idea why she was in such a state} and I’m sure our neighbours are ready to call the authorities.
She was still crying when I dropped her at day care. Thankfully her lovely carer gave her a cuddle and asked her to give me a cuddle before I went to work. Bubba reluctantly lent towards me so I could cuddle and I walked away in tears.
Then I cried the whole way to the office. I should have had greater control of my emotions. I’m the grown up. I shouldn’t have let her behaviour this morning anger me the way it did. But I’m tired, I’m stressed, I’ve started a new job, my left ear has been blocked all week and I just don’t have the wherewithal to deal with something that seemingly had no reason behind it when I’m trying to get out the door to work.
I know she’s got an ear infection. I know she’s having trouble with her teeth. I’m doing all I can to help ease the pain of those things. I understand she’s a toddler and communication is difficult. I get waking up and just not feeling it for the day ahead.
But I really don’t like feeling like she doesn’t like me.
I don’t like it at all.
bumpyroadtobubba 
Oh no! What an awful start to the day. How can that little Bubba be angry at her Mumma who loves her so much! I hope she is back to cuggling soon.
Re-read your post from yesterday how happy you were and then remember that we all have days like today….. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve had to forcefully strap one of my three into their car seat…. chin up lovely- you do have the perfect life most of the time… I’m sure your new job will fall into place quickly and bubba will be happy to spend two full days with her mumma over the weekend….. failing that, there’s always WINE!!! xo
is it wine o’clock yet? xx
Aww mumma, i’m so sad to hear that you’re having a bad day, as someone planning my first baby later in the year I really admire your amazing ability to juggle so many balls at once & keep everything together, i love this blog because you’re one of the most supremely exceptional parents i’ve ever seen but you’re only human so don’t beat yourself up over a bad day, i’m sure all bubbas around 2yrs have tantrum days & Poppy Grace loves you so much, I know she’ll be missing you terribly all day now (she’s still ridonculous even when upset btw lol), sending mumma much hugs today & just think ‘this too shall pass’, soon the new job stress will settle & so will bubba. Thank you for sharing so openly & candidly, i’m sure every mumma feels so alone during those awful moments of a toddler melt down, your blog would be a comfort to many in the same circumstance. Thinking of you today, you’re always inspiring & you’re an outstanding mum 🙂
Hi Mumma! I am so sad for you both! There will be more days like this to come, but there will be more days that are nothing like this. Take heart!
Oops don’t know what happened to my comment. Trying to say our daughters lash out at us because they know we love them more than anything and won’t leave them and they feel comfortable showing their frustrations/Hurt etc. She loves you I promise xx
Think of it as a practice run for when she hits the teens…then the little Princess will really test you. Keep your chin up though cos you’re going ‘great guns’ thus far.
Pen
Don’t you worry, Mumma, you are clearly an excellent and loving mother, and all toddlers act this way sometimes. I think what Emma said is very true, that our kids take out their frustrations on us because they know they can and we will still love them! Thinking of you, you’re doing a great job!
Been there – I empathize!
Remind yourself that you’re an amazing mother and you’re doing the best you can. (Also remind yourself that It’s nearly wine o’clock!)
Big hugs mumma. Fortunately today is any aberration. Behaviour like this always is. She loves you. You love her. The world will be a better place tomorrow. xoxo
Thank you all for your support and love – I need it today! xx
Unfortunately, days like this happen to all of us Moms. Fortunately they are fleeting and, since I have the benefit of being late in commenting, soon over.
Sending a big hug!
Much appreciated Dalton x