An open letter to germs

Okay, little germs, this is mumma talking and I mean business so listen up!

I’m talking to all of you: germs, lurgies, ouchies, itchies, scratchies, hurties, headaches, earaches, back aches, sore throat germs, pains in general and pains in the butt.

You are hereby given notice that you are not welcome in our home. Not anywhere on or in my Bubba, nowhere near me, and none of your cousin friends the doggie germs.

I’m quite serious about this.

You are being evicted and you are not being given 21 days notice. You need to be gone from my home – and from the beings of all of my loves – by the time I get home from work today.


Seriously, a girl needs her beauty sleep. At this stage, her mumma is going to need surgery to reverse the damage you germs have done in the past couple of months. I’m pretty sure it all started with your friends the toddler learning to swim pool germs. If I think back, that’s about the time when the runny noses, temperatures, sore ears and throats really kicked in.

Bubba has had enough. The poor little love looks like she’s been in the wars. She has been – the germ wars. It’s tough to see who has the bigger bags under their eyes – Bubba or me, and that’s saying something, because I look like I’m carrying around a set of Louis Vuitton travel trunks under my eyes.

I’m starting to look my age. And that is not acceptable. In any way, shape or form.

You have been warned. Don’t try me. A tired mumma is not a happy mumma.

Exhaust-piped Mumma

I don’t think she’s joking?!

14 Comments Add yours

  1. Oh I hope you and Bubba get caught up on your sleep soon. I did have to laugh at your line ” I look like I’m carrying around a set of Louis Vuitton travel trunks under my eyes.” not making light of your predicament, I know how no sleep can really get to you.

    1. Apparently lack of sleep just makes me funnier? Thanks – toddler germs just seem to lurk, waiting for us to have one good night’s sleep them BAM, they’re at us again.

  2. Louise says:

    I’ve just caught up on every post on your blog. I’m in love with you four! Maybe it was the pool water that caused the UTI? Well it’s now 11.40pm and I have to wake my two girls (furry ones) up to take them out for wee, but they look so peaceful…..

    Thank you for giving me so much to think about and for having such an impact. I now have a plan and a purpose. xxx

  3. Go get ’em Mumma! Germs always can use a good bum kicking! 🙂

  4. Bassas Blog says:

    Dear exhaust-piped Mumma, I know this is a difficult time for you and Bubba but fighting germs builds up the immune system and will help Bubba grow up to be more resistant to germs. Saying that, I know that you both have had more than your fair share of germs recently so maybe a little break in the germ wars would be good! xxxx

    1. Hopefully hanging out with B & B will keep Bubba’s immune system healthy. She was such a healthy little button until recently. Let’s hope as the weather warms, the germs migrate elsewhere. Only a few more weeks to go! xx

  5. tylersat99 says:

    It’s winter there? Those pesky germs lurk everywhere just waiting to grab on the first one by. I know how rough the winters are with ear infections, sore throats, etc. and then no sleep. Hope you got those germs to go away and leave Bubba alone so you can both catch up on sleep.xx

    1. Thanks. I feel like I could lay under a palm tree beside the ocean in the sunshine and sleep for a week! At least we’re half way through winter. xx

  6. jaymers says:

    Germs are no good. I mean, we may all tell ourselves that they’re ultimately benign and they build up these little people’s immune system, but really, who likes germs? The same people that enjoy washing windows and finding a parking spot in the mall at Christmas time?

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