My original title of this post was I miss you when you’re sleeping, but if you click on that title you’ll see I’ve used it before. A very long time ago.

Before Bubba slept through the night.

Before we slept in separate rooms.

Before I went back to work and only get to spend more than a couple of hours with her each day on weekends.

Our 9 day holiday together was the longest stretch we’ve spent together since I went back to work when she was 7 months old. That’s 15 months ago. And that is way too long.

While we were away we slept in the same room again. I forgot what it sounds like to hear her moving around the cot – she’s such a little wriggler. I loved listening to her deep, sleepy breathing. But mostly I loved that she was right there with me. And that in the morning when I poked my head over the side of the bed her beautiful smile was beaming at me.

She’s never been one to want (or like) to sleep in my bed with me. Not even for extended cuddles. I’m sure that will change one day in the not too distant future and I’ll wish for my bed back, but for now she likes to have her own sleeping space. So being in the same room again was lovely.

The morning we left Melbourne she wasn’t very well and has spent the weekend coughing and sneezing, so she’s spent the past two days attached to me as she’s want to do when not feeling great.

When I walked back to the car having dropped her to day care this morning, there were big fat tears rolling down my cheeks.

I’m going to buy a lotto ticket today. There has to be some way I can fulfil my wish to spend more time with my gorgeous little Love Bug.