As I lay awake in the pre-dawn this morning, another almost sleepless night nearing its end, tears rolling down my face, I snuggled further down the bed to reach for Beary. Bella was already glued to me – she’s never far away if I’m sad and has kissed my tears away more times than I can count in the past decade.
I thought to myself I would really like a husband right about now. Someone to hold me and tell me everything will be okay.
Someone who has my back.
Someone who can say to me they recognise the toll this shit that’s playing out in my life right now is having on me, and give me the space and financial freedom to crawl under a rock for a few days. Or just under the dogs. Somewhere I wouldn’t have to make a decision. Not big decisions, just all of the hundreds of small decisions I have to make every day.
Someone who is there in the pre-dawn hours to hold me while I cry.
Someone to hold my hand and walk with me through this quagmire of crap that’s surrounding me.
Someone to steady me when my step gets rocky.
Please don’t tell me the grass is always greener. Or point out that I have a lovely family {which I absolutely do}. This is not about that.
This is about me.
bumpyroadtobubba 
I don’t know how to support you in your present sadness except to assure you of my enduring love for you since forever. As you know, I really believe in God’s personal love and care for us, so I pray constantly that all will come out well for you soon. Let me know if I can do anything. I can’t drive for another two weeks but if you’d like to call in on the weekend – and take Love Bug to the local ice cream shop just let me know. Love you. Aunty Marg xxoo
Sent from my iPhone
I absolutely understand where you are coming from with this. I too shed tears last night thinking the same thing, where is my special someone.
Firstly just a massive massive hug, if there is anything I can do…. I am sorry to hear you are going through this and I promise not to say that grass is always greener. In fact I would like to tell you that sometimes life is shit, it is really sucky and massively scary. It’s unfair. It sucks and often I want to stamp my foot and stop being an adult. I want someone to make it all ok so I don’t have to. Get mad, Get angry stamp your foot… and like I said if I can do anything…….!
Thank you – all the love and peace sent our way is truly appreciated! x
Anytime hunny!