The fertility clinic doctor said “You have one beautiful follicle” and then there were tears. They’re exactly the words I wanted to hear. I didn’t want to hear I had two or more because then I couldn’t continue on this path this month without the consideration that having more than one follicle could lead to multiple embryos.

One. Such a perfect sounding number. I’m excited. Seriously excited.

I know it’s the first time, I know all of the odds, but part of me can’t help but wonder if that one beautiful follicle will in time become one beautiful baby? Even though there are many statistics stacked against me, I feel like I need to be as excited as I can be at each and every positive hurdle, no matter how small. If it doesn’t work this month I’ll be sad, but I trust that it will work eventually, so every time I’m going to be happy for the things that are worth being happy about!Then came the phone call from the clinic – now I am REALLY excited. Well, apart from the ‘trigger’ injection at 9pm tonight that is (Edward, oh Edward where are you?). 9am Saturday, now know as ‘let’s get me a bubba’ morning! And it’s the last ideal day during the Ancient Chinese Birth Gender Chart for me to conceive a girl. I’m hoping. I’ve put a pink ribbon under my pillow, there is a pink ribbon tied around my candles, I’m listening to my baby girl playlist and today instead of cream – which I buy every week – today I bought baby pink roses! Saturday 6 March 2010, then injections 8, 11 and 14 March, then a blood test on 22 March. I am going to defy the odds and be the 1 in 4 this works for. Then I’m going to defy those other odds and carry to term!

Such an emotional roller coaster.