My friend’s wife sent me an email a few days ago saying his health had deteriorated. Not two weeks prior he had emailed me to say he was feeling great and was looking forward to taking her to Monte Carlo to celebrate her birthday.

Even though he had cancer, he has always been so positive and had such an amazing attitude about it and not letting it beat him, so her email came as a shock. It’s hard to reconcile that the handsome face smiling at me from the photo on my pinboard – standing next to his beautiful bride, their life full of promise and future only a couple of years ago – as my friend whose life was now slipping away, his time left to be counted in days and moments, not years or months or even weeks.

Her email to me was also a reality check. I know that time waits for no-one, so I did what I could. If we were in the same city, I would have sat beside him and told him how much I love him and our friendship. We would have talked about life’s serious stuff. And we would reminisce about the fun times we’ve shared.

Except they are on the other side of the world. So instead of sitting beside him, I wrote it all in an email. I included pictures of my little family. I sent one of my latest videos of Bubba. I told him how much I wish he had met her {she was still in my belly last time I saw him} and I asked him to look over her for me wherever he was going. I sent him a song that reminded me of him and our friendship when he was younger and had not a care in the world. I copied his lovely wife so she could read it to him, in case he didn’t have the strength to read it himself.

Last night I was on the couch with Bubba. We were doing a puzzle before bed and I got an email from my friend’s wife telling me she thought his time was near. I started to cry. And I couldn’t stop. I was heartbroken for me to be losing my friend, for him to be having his life cut so horridly short – a few weeks before his 36th birthday, but mostly for her. You shouldn’t have to lose the love of your life ever, but to do so when you’re so young is just beyond unfair.

Bubba has never seen me cry like that. Her reaction was precious. She knelt up and touched my face. Mumma sad? Yes Bubba, my friend is sick and I’m sad. She patted my face, gave me kisses and cuddles then she snuggled in beside me and stayed there with her hand resting on my leg while I cried.

I slept fitfully last night and this morning woke to the news that my friend had died. If you’re a regular reader you’ll know that I’m not religious. But I did have a word to my Daddy to look out for my friend. Wherever they are.

I miss you my friend. I’m very lucky to have had you in my life and your presence will be notably and greatly missed.

My last promise to you is that I will take Love Bug to Italy. Where we will meet up with your beautiful wife, cuddle her close and have a great time in your honour. Wishing you were there with us, and carrying you in our hearts.