Simultaneously petrified and excited is how I felt when I got my period in the middle of the night. Now that I have a date of what is hopefully the first day of my last period, and know my average cycle length is 27 days, I can calculate the due date of the baby. Getting a little ahead of myself, but can’t help it. She will be due on Bear’s birthday – Wednesday 1 December 2010, another Sagittarius kid – what a lovely pre-Christmas present!

I called the clinic this morning and have an appointment tomorrow morning at 10. I need to learn to inject myself with hormones {ugh!}, get the latest donor list, have a blood test and an ultrasound then talk through what the next couple of weeks will look like for me.

Oh, and hand over wads of cash for the privilege of buying sperm. American sperm. Because there’s none available in Australia. To think how much of it I’ve been in contact with over the years {sorry mumma!} and thought nothing of – and now it’s worth its weight in gold!

I’m sad that I’m going to tomorrow’s appointment on my own, but little sister can’t come, mum has just started a new job and the rest of the Baby Panel are working. I’ve asked them all to come for wine and pizza on Sunday night to help me undertake the very important job of choosing the top 2 or 3 sperm donor choices. This is the biggest decision of my life. And it is as scary as hell!

The Baby Panel consists of a handful of my closest people who all bring different views of life to the table. They are people I love dearly, trust implicitly and couldn’t live without.

I’m so excited that I have friends who are going through similar treatment at the same time. Their surrogate had her transfer today so if it works for them and me the first time, we will become parents within a couple of weeks of each other.

Yay!