I am SO tired. Don’t know if it’s because of the hormones or just because of my life right now. Injecting myself last night was no fun – although the dogs seemed quite interested. I put on my play list, lit my baby girl candle, spoke with a lovely friend who talked me back from the ledge (she’s endured multiple rounds of IVF), and got brave. I was very proud of myself once the needle was in, until I remembered that I still had to inject the hormones!

Then I wasn’t really expecting any blood. Or the lump and bruise that came up almost instantaneously?! This morning driving to work I nearly had to stop the car to throw up. But if it works, it will all be worth it. I just need to keep that front of mind. My sister thinks I should inject in a pattern – write a message that says girl please or maybe I should just draw pink targets on my tummy and aim the needles in the middle?

Had some lovely news from my urban family friends today. One couple are 8 weeks pregnant with their second child; another couple just home from their quick trip to San Diego to have their embryos transferred to their surrogate. We have been talking about it for years, and now that it’s all happening it would be so lovely if we were all pregnant at the same time.

I am seeing the Older Man for dinner tonight. I know I need to be strong, but it is going to be so difficult not to just collapse into his arms. I’ve really missed him the past few days. But what he’s offering right now is not good enough for me. Another thing I need to remind myself of.