I love elephants, I just wish this one would get off my chest

I love elephants, I just wish this one would get off my chest

Ah, anxiety my old friend. Or not.

What is it that enables you to creep out from beneath medication, mindfulness, essential oils and a diet that is kind to the earth as well as me?

I love elephants, I just wish this one would get off my chest!

This is how I’ve felt for a couple of days now. There’s an elephant sitting on my chest, and a colony of winged creatures flapping at warp speed beneath the crush. My vision is intermittently blurry. My head feels light. I feel paralysed.

There is no particular reason for it. There are no more stressors in my life than usual. My medication or any of the other armor I use to combat my anxiety hasn’t changed.

There was a full moon last night but the link between lunacy and the lunar cycle has been challenged by many a scientific study, so although I definitely feel more anxious at a full moon, this may be placebo in cause/effect?

So there is nothing obvious causing this bout of extreme anxiety. People with anxiety will understand that this is the worst kind {if one can scale it} because if there is not an obvious cause, there is no way to control it.

I am at work and functioning, but for the second day in a row I really just wanted to stay in bed. I didn’t hit snooze once this morning for fear I actually wouldn’t get up. But I did get up and fed my critters, took Love Bug to school, joined the throes of office drones in the bus and came to work.

People who saw me on the way to work and in the office wouldn’t have the slightest inkling that I feel like the world is going to swallow me. That’s part of the joy of having anxiety – it is completely hidden to everyone else, but it is the world to the person suffering.

Kindness is free: sprinkle that shit everywhere.

If you see someone needing a hug or a smile today, give it to them. You just never know who might need it most.

 

 

3 Comments Add yours

  1. lexy says:

    Anxiety is a bastard of a thing…..perhaps the worry over lovebugs school teacher/s has slowly been building up inside you. Try to be extra kind to yourself where you can x

  2. Reblogged this on bumpyroadtobubba and commented:

    As today is #RuOK day in Australia, it seems an apt time to reblog this post.

    I have been feeling like this again the past week or so. There are some reasons known to me, but others evade me. Seemingly September brings out the anxiety in me more than most months. It’s Spring, a time of renewal, a time to get excited for the warmer months ahead. It is also the start of the slide towards year end. A time for reflection of what has happened during the past 12 months. What have I achieved? Have I reached my goals? Have I been the parent I wanted to be?

    If only the answer to all of those questions was yes!

    So, my friends, are you okay?

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