It’s not a few days. It’s not last week. It’s not a couple of weeks ago. It’s last month Actually no, it’s not even last month, it’s the month before. Almost 6 weeks. And yet my heart remains broken. There are pieces everywhere.

No time is ever the right time to say goodbye to a love so strong, this I know too well. I miss the smell of her paws – the mixture of dirt and warm sunshine.

I’m not sleeping very well. As most of you will know, insomnia and I wage a fairly ongoing battle, but to add to the mix I am now having trouble falling asleep as well as going back to sleep once I wake in the night. Falling asleep used to be so easy – I would put my arms around her little body and my anxiety would seep away. Her deep breathing {okay, so mostly it was snoring!} would rhythmically settle me to sleep.

Her empathy and understanding of my emotions was unexpected. She loved me {us!} thoroughly and completely. The older I get and the more of the world I learn about, I realise that there is no other bond that is so unconditional. We human animals like to think that we love unconditionally but there are always conditions. There is a simplicity with the unconditional bond you have with a companion animal. Come home to them, share your home with them, feed them, walk them, love them, repeat.

But I miss her. Every single day. Some days are worse than others. I knew she was good for me but I don’t think I really knew the depth of her role as my therapy dog until she left. Her ashes are back home with us. We each have a locket with some of her in it that we wear daily. She is in our heart, her furs are still in everything I touch.

I miss her presence. I miss her smile. I miss the thump of her happy tail. I miss her love.

I know I’m not the only one.